Twitter

     Well, that's happening. Who'd a thought the world's richest man, who grew up during Apartheid supported by his daddies emerald mine, could be a bully when it comes to taking over a company. Come to think of it the two guys who actually created Tesla could probably give you chapter and verse unless the takeover involved a non disclosure agreement.  

    Elon rolled in there like it was still the 80s and the staff had no desire but to hang onto their jobs like it was the only kind of life they knew. That was when the company BLACKBERRY began to earn its bad name and its addictive use gave it the label crackberry. Employees were on all the time with that thing and managers expected immediate attention at all times day or night. I could go on about the social damage that created but I won't.  

    I'd be willing to bet a lot of the people that just got fired or quit are kids of the crackberry addicts who's jobs eventually got outsourced to India or China. They know what happens when you mistakenly think a company will repay overwhelming loyalty and dedication in kind. 

    On a practical side a lot of the tech companies over staffed during the pandemic and a thinning of the flock was going to happen anyway. This is a business and businesses have practical considerations. Firing the person in charge of the door passes seems to be a bit rash. Wonder if that person ever answered when they asked them to come back and at least unlock the doors?  

    I'm still on Twitter and so are a lot of other people. What I'm doing as well is dipping my toe in a lot of other ponds. I've been posting things on Tumblr for a long time but I never really took it seriously. Now I guess I will. I finally started posting to Reddit and I have taken on Hive. Don't really understand either of them but I didn't really GET twitter for years either. 

    I'll be there promoting my work. If you like series books check out this series. 

    If I was a decent artist it would have ended up as a graphic novel. It's a series with a female super hero. 

NO CAPES! 

Check it out on my amazon page 

amazon.com/author/tabithabaumander

or link below

Also please check out and subscribe to my you tube. Getting over the 30 subscriber mark would be a great way to end the year. 

ditto link below 

EVOLVING

    The things we do evolve. Frankly if they don't evolve you are in trouble. It means you aren't learning and growing. That's a bad thing. It tends to result in a kind of mental atrophy that thinks voting conservative is okay and thinking that since you had a hard time growing up, young people today should because it gave you character. There are better ways to develop character; like learning and growing as a person.  

    Back to me. I have changed what I do with my you tube channel. My channel took off a couple of years ago when fate put me within using distance of a basic editing program. I would go out and take videos of Toronto; it's nooks and crannies and interesting bits. I would then put it together with some sort of poetry. 

    After a couple of years of that I came to realize that I really didn't have much more to show or comment on. Then I managed to save up enough to buy a cell phone. Yes I know you can get them for zero down but my income is a bit random. I can't depend on having phone money month to month I would always have to buy the unit outright.

    By the way I say "took off" but that really just means it suddenly had stuff on it. I had maybe six subscribers and most of what I posted was never viewed. Then a big thing happened. I gave up my home phone which I was paying to much for any way and while I was at it gave up my cable TV. In the process of learning how to use the phone I discovered it had an audio recorder. 

    This put me in a fork in the road position. I took the path that didn't have me doing the same old thing. I am now reading my flash fiction and filming visuals that match the stories. I hate my voice but lacking anyone else's voice its me or nothing. The visuals are an approximation primarily because I am my own crew and camera man. I don't have anyone to play actor. I tried to do that too but there's a limit to what you can do with a selfie stick. 

    I know if I keep going I will have to take the next step and talk someone else to be in front of the camera (cell phone). In the mean time I have gone from almost no subscribers to twenty six. I'm evolving.   

    For now the stories I use are from here; 

WELL I GOT IT.

 After two years of lucking out I finally lost the toss and came down with covid. I'm double boosted so its amounted to not much more than a bad sinus cold but its ANNOYING. I have spent a little over two weeks coughing, spitting and blowing and the thing still wont leave my system. I work from home so I only lost two days near the beginning when I had a bit of a fever and genuinely felt crap.

Part of what really bugs me about this beyond being sick is, I was slowly transitioning into doing new things with my You Tube channel. Against my better judgement and with no other options I have started recording my feather light voice reading my ultra short stories. I back this up with visuals that don't really illustrate whats happening but do suggest the action.   

Once I run out of this material (that will take a while) I will have to make the leap to actual actors. That will demand better tech than what I own however so onward with what I have. 

Years ago there was a mad rush of Armageddon end of the world movies. They ran from the sublime (Omen) to the ridiculous (a crap disaster with Swartzinegger reciting catch phrases.)  I'm a fan of the govenator but when he phones it in you know there's a bill he had to pay sitting somewhere.

All this stuff was being taken from the Bible. I looked into the Bible and found the Nephilim. Sometimes called The Watchers. I first wrote a low budget script that's gotten some interest but sadly no action then I wrote the above book. I've also used them in a different book and script. (that script is mega budget and probably will never see the light of day) 

  Check out both on my amazon web site. There are several pages so you might have to click on the numbers at the bottom to find the covers. I turned 63 in August and I've been writing for a lot of that time. There's a lot of books there.

So unless Russia decides to end the world check em out.   

LABOR DAY 2022

 I'm told its different in the USA but for anyone that has a school system that generally starts the day after Labor Day, this day marks the last day of summer holidays. In Toronto it marks the last day of the Canadian National Exhibition. Also called The CNE or THE EX.  

The Ex is a hundred plus year old fair that used to be THE place to promote products and win ribbons for your sheep or produce. It got a bit watered down through the years and some things got shunted to other events but it still has a hold on the Toronto mind-set. 

Above is a commercial from 1982. It has a jingle that has stuck in the brains of Torontonians for years. We still go. We go and complain its not worth it. We go and complain its to expensive. We go anyway. We go because that's what you do at the end of summer. We go because we've always gone. 

I think this year a lot of us went for another reason though they might not have realized it. We went because for two  years it wasn't there. There was nothing to mark the line between summer and school. Whats worse the poor old dame was losing money for a couple of years before Covid hit and there was a question as to whether it would be back. 

                                "We've always gone."

That's the thing you see. Think for a minute. How many things in your life can you apply the word "always" too? Not many I bet. The modern world kills the word "always" dead. 

People need at least some things to always be there. Change is nice but let me keep at least something. People need an ALWAYS and Toronto needs the Ex.  

Dear Diary

 It occurs to me that this is the closest I have ever in my life come to having a diary. Oh sure I had them given to me when I was a kid. They were usually pink with a fairy on the cover and a little key.  

Then when I got older people started telling me, "You should JOURNAL you really should, it makes you feel SO much better!"

I've never understood how examining how shit life can be at times and writing it down makes you feel better. That's why I write fiction. I control the reality there and can put my hero(s) into problems then get them out. For me fiction is action. Yes moping around sometimes happens but action helps fix things. 

There's even a scientific real world parallel. Dopamine is the feel good hormone. You get it when you have a chance to talk about yourself or even write about yourself (Okay maybe journaling can do something but not for me. I follow my late mothers rule, never write anything down you wouldn't want to be printed in the front page of the newspaper.) 

Conveniently, another way of getting dopamine is physical activity. You don't need much either. Last spring I bought myself a teen/adult sized kick scooter. (no motor) Its a bit small but I have no real way of knowing if the ones you see on line are any bigger so I'm running with this one. 

Its great. My knees are much better, so is my balance and I feel a buzz after every work out. Fifteen minutes at the beginning of the day can get my brain going. 

Here's a book to get your brain going. 

Well going slowly it is summer. Its a fun examination of what can happen if you write to much down and leave it for the next generation to deal with. Two 5 star reviews. 

Find it on my amazon page listed below. 

RETURN

    We're well and truly into August now and I have a few thoughts. The first one is easy. The world hasn't come to an end. Not yet at least. YA! 

    The second one is a little less obvious. The one thing about August I always remember, beside the fact that its the month with my birthday, is the fact it stops being so burn the pavement hot. This month is not following that general trend. I just spent a night almost sleeping with the fan off and not sleeping at all with the fan on. 

    It's not the first time I've had to work with maybe two hours actual sleep. Insomnia in general is an old acquaintance of mine. Most of the time it happens when I've had to much caffeine from various sources generally cola, in the winter tea. Sometimes its not being able to turn my brain off and stop thinking about stuff I can do nothing about. Its never fun no matter what the reason. 

    I prefer if I'm awake to lay quietly and run the action of a book through my head so I know what I'm doing the next time I sit down to write. Right now I'm finishing off a ghost story. The first draft will be a little less than 40 thousand words. This sounds like a lot but commercial sized novels are usually twice that size or more. Its the nature of the way I write. The first draft is almost always a lot shorter than the last. 

    I just finished publishing a book. My first dystopian novel.

     Mankind has resorted to an unnatural level of control to weed out anti social activity. The result of this control is not only tragedy but a weakening of the walls between worlds and the monsters of man's early past are starting to return. 

Find it on my amazon page, the link is below.

Also check out my You Tube page. 

mid summer

    We're a little less than two weeks away from the mid point of summer 2022. In some parts of the world its hot as the devils back door and in other parts people are trying very hard to blow each other up. 

    The Republican party in the USA is trying to set up an oligarchy and is busy convincing the very poor who grew up with to much lead in their drinking water that its a good idea.  In Canada conservatives look to the south with longing and proceed to try and smear anyone that tries to take care of the environment or the people in general.  

    Understand this is just a list I have no ability to draw any conclusions and even less ability to come up with any solutions. I think government is there to serve all the people not just the rich that give them money so they can run election campaigns. I think past historic wrongs need to be addressed not erased. I think the same for current wrongs if it comes to that. 

    Its no wonder that fantasy and horror is so big these days. What's better to distract yourself from the fact that you may never be able to afford to live without a room mate or even more than one than a nice horror novel. The guy dedicating himself to paving farmland and green space is nothing compared to a good monster under the stairs.

    Below is my recent effort in that arena. I don't do hard horror so if you are looking for a lot of blood and guts its not for you.  What we have here are three novellas under one title. Honestly I think I did this just because I loved the title. The basic theme is what's worse, the monster that is easily recognizable as a monster, or the human that is in reality a monster? Kind of like a conservative politician really. Are they really worried about the bottom line or do they just not care about the fact that way to many people are one pay check away from living in a dumpster?  

In here you will find my novellas. 

Live Stream

The House in the Wood

Hey Come Here

If you want you can get them on their own. Check out my amazon page link below. Actually the stories started out as screen plays but lockdown gave me the time to adapt them.

Check this out at

 https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0B6T1J4S9/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i1

Planning

 How do you plan for the future? -I'll be danged if I know. I have enough problems with the present.- is probably not a good answer. 

People of substance love nothing better than talking down to people who have very little. They also love singing the song of planning. Cool. Great. Lovely. You want to fill in the gaps on that concept? How does one plan, when even if you have a full five days scheduled on a work week, you might not have even one full day, because you get sent home early, because business is slow? How do you plan if you don't know from week to week how many of those possible full days you might be scheduled to work? One? Four? Zip?

Understand, I am not hitting at businesses here. They're just trying to stay alive. Without the small and medium sized business of the world most of us wouldn't have any income at all. (Not touching on big business that's a whole other blog post) Its the preachers of toxic and increasingly unrealistic positivity I'm throwing stones at.   

Anyway planning. I have been making plans regarding the small amount of my life I have any control over. I have finished polishing three novellas. I have published them under three separate covers. Next week I will be publishing them under a single anthology title Monsters Human Monsters Inhuman. 

Here's the covers. 

They can be found on my amazon page you can download or order the paper back. If you like you can wait and get all three at once under one cover. 

Link to my page is below. . 

Fire Works

    I'm writing this on Canada day 2022. For the first time in two years there are Canada day celebrations happening today and tonight there are going to be fire works. I love fire works and luckily I live right across from a small park that is designated in this area to be a place with a public display.  In past years I have been home and making tea before the first city bus arrives to take people away. 

    Of course every time I comment on social media that I am eager to have the fire works back I get inundated with negativity. Its bad for pets, PTSD sufferers, the environment you name it. Sure they have a point but its like listening to a vegan tell you why its bad to eat cheese. 

    Then there's the indigenous community saying very loudly we shouldn't celebrate Canada at all. I'm no expert in these things but it seems to me that if you don't celebrate what you have you will never have the desire to make it better. A lot of bad has happened in the past but creating reconciliation is complicated and tends to insist on both parties allowing that ether side has a right to exist. 

    Not easy I will grant you. 

     We do still exist however and hopefully we will continue to exist. Just like fireworks. Mind you I'd be completely open to a new kind that have been invented that are pretty without the big bangs. I'd be good with that. 

    Since its Canada day lets have a mention of a Canadian story. Well its a ghost story set in Toronto. 

    Corktown is a novella set in downtown Toronto. There is a very nice stone church which originally had a grave yard behind it. Times changed and the land was needed for something else so the graves were moved elsewhere. The thing is there were at least two typhoid fever pits in this yard, relics of the diaspora caused by the potato famine.  Do you think they sifted the dirt to get every bone? 

    Nope.

    Whats on that spot now? A grade school and a school yard. If that's not a setting for a ghost story I don't know what is. Check it out and more on my amazon page link below this space. 

    Oh and a word to those who live to say negative things about stuff other people love. That balloon you are poking holes in might be something that is helping someone keep it together. Maybe think before you stab. 

UBI

    Universal Basic Income: this is the idea that if you give people a basic amount of money, enough to pay rent and eat, that will give them the freedom to actually live. In Canada I think the proposed amount is two thousand a month. For the record that's more than what I make working close to full time. 

    A lot of people have posted on Facebook threads talking about UBI that amount to "I work why shouldn't they?" The problem is, We Do Work; but the hours we're given don't cover the necessities never mind any extras like say a decent winter coat or boots that don't leak after you've worn them for a month. 

    Those people might be two or three pay checks away from the street well I have news for them we're closer. Some people I know have student loans that they will be paying for out their government pensions because the jobs they have don't pay enough to pay those loans off. Forget about buying a home getting married or having kids. 

    I only mention government pensions because most work places don't have pension plans anymore. They haven't had them since conservative governments of the western world sold people the thought that unions were taking money and giving back nothing. I'm old I remember when they were doing it. 

    They blamed the unions for companies sending jobs to other countries when it was the owners of those companies that got angry that they had to take care of their workers instead of chewing them up and spitting them out like the good old days. Ah the Victorian Era when you could send a nine year old into a coal mine without some bleeding heart getting in the way. 

    I also have a penny to drop regarding those people fighting UBI who are angry that someone has thought up a way for people to not struggle like they've always done. If you really are that close to the edge depending on the rules they come up with you might be eligible too. Worried that you are going to be the ones to pay for it? If you are worried you probably don't make enough to be worried. 

    Stop being vindictive and really look at what is being proposed. This thing is even good for the people who will be paying. 

    Automation is not going away and if you discount the above mentioned jobs sent overseas scenario, its the real reason so many of those good paying jobs we miss have gone. UBI steps in and props up the jobs that are left. 

    There's also a comment to add about the economy as a whole. Stores empty? Groceries not selling? Restaurants laying off workers because of low business? Fun places closing because of low turn out? The rich don't keep those things running. There aren't enough rich to do that. It's the rest of us that make the economy work. 

    If we don't have the money we stick to survival mode and we don't go out, we buy only what we have to and the economy suffers. Survival mode is what turned the 1929 recession into a long term (great) depression that only the spending going to war could cure. UBI adds to the small jobs that far to many of us have and lets us take part and that keeps the country moving. 

    Don't really have a book that goes with this subject so lets just remind you about my book of short stories.

This is a collection of hyper short works that would fit perfectly on any cell phone kindle app. Don't pay attention to the people around you. Read something. 

Ongoing

 These days everything is ongoing. Nothing happens fast then stops. The ongoing war in Ukraine creates an ongoing energy crisis, food crisis, stock market crisis and who knows how many dominoes will fall before the game is over. 

Then there is the ongoing gun problem in the land of the free and the home of the well armed. I have from time to time watched a show that shadows real life boarder agents as they process people coming into Canada. Its kind of sad sometimes. Its also very funny when you get an American who has their AK 47 plus ammunition taken off them because if you come north to hunt moose you shouldn't be armed like an extra from an 80s action movie.  They get such a blank look on their faces when they learn, you can't do that here.  

Things have always been ONGOING of course its just that we have never been so completely informed of these ongoing things. We used to get a break but from the beginning of 24 hour news hour brains have been pounded with information both tragic and pointless. 

Lets create our own break and read something. 

I have written and self published two series with female heroes. The clip has the titles and covers. Birth of the Goddess; which incidentally is my first and most rewritten before being published book. Is the first book in a series of four. The story arch begins with the creation of my hero and ends with everyone involved having their mental feet on the ground. Adventure has happened, love has happened, and goodness knows what the future will bring. I'm open to doing more but no ideas have presented themselves.

Time Walker my other series did insist on a fifth book being written. Scenes kept showing up in my mind saying WRITE ME I'M EPIC. So I did. 

I could say a lot more but I'll just point you toward my amazon page. If you like heroes that don't wear capes and don't fit into the Marvel or DC unaverse give them a try.

My page is at           amazon.com/author/tabithabaumander     or you can click the link down at the bottom of the page

 

Routine

    There's probably an unhealthy aspect to this but I quite like routine. Routine is the framework that you can hang your life on. Work, do dishes, do laundry, see a movie; done with eyes open a routine can let your imagination relax. So long as you deliberately plan in change, fun and novelty it can be a low stress way of looking at life, leaving mental energy free to do things like in my case writing books. 

    My longest books have all been written when I have had dependable aspects to my life. Its as if my inner writer looks at my life situation and says, "Not sure what's going on these days. Better make this next one a novella."

    The simple fact is things that have cropped up to surprise me have had a tendency to be negative. I wont go into details because most of the situations no longer matter. The result of that lifelong series of lovely "surprises" is an allergy to surprise. I'm one of those people that like knowing how a mystery/adventure works out ahead of time so I can relax and enjoy the process of getting there. 

    One of the dependable aspects to my books is a near universal attraction to the happy ending. My hero's can tend to finish the story a bit battered but the ending always involves a bad surprise for the bad guys. 

    A departure from my usual Urban Fantasy catalogue is IN THE NAME OF THE MOTHER. I intended firmly to have a supernatural aspect to the plot. The plot told me to, "bugger off it didn't need no stinking magic." 

    Published by a small press in the US it's my answer to The Handmaidens tale. Mind you it was written before the Republican Party started using The Handmaidens tale as a party platform. 

    I wont go into the plot to deeply but it involves a stone age cult that has survived to the modern day which holds women as superior and keeps men in "their place"

    This one is also the book that stopped me from trying to get in with an agent. The response from the New York agent that read the manuscript was simple and telling.

    "I love your stuff. I just don't know now to sell you."

    You and me both dude. You and me both. 

    You can find a link to my amazon page below. This book and all the others are there. 

#Abuse is abuse

 Recently I read the beginning of a post on my Facebook feed about how we all have to support Amber Heard in her case against Johnny Dep because if she is proved wrong then all women will be accused of faking abuse and we'll be shoved back into the dark ages. 

This is an issue that crops up every time some women admits to having lied about this abuse or that rape. (A rare event but it happens and men have spent years in jail because of it). I wanted to comment then stopped. She used several examples from her own experiences and I did not want to show that confidence any disrespect.  

That being said there is a big problem with this absolutist all or nothing attitude. Reality is not all or nothing and just because one thing is true doesn't mean everything that looks like that one thing is a lie. Evidence increasingly shows that AH has been faking a lot of things for a long time. This does not mean the woman across the street who wears oddly thick makeup and long sleeves in the summer is not getting beat on a regular basis and needs help.  

The practice of believe and help first is still valid. Women out there getting abused physically or verbally should be believed. Get that person to safety please but put away the pitchforks. Mob justice is no replacement for the real thing. #MeToo was intended to open a window on this sort of thing not stop anyone's truth from getting out.

Another thing needs to be addressed.  Its fairly rare because of the traditional power structure of relationships but men get abused too. (I have a nonexistent social life and have known two. ) They do get abused and while women's shelters are few and far between men have nothing. This fact needs to be pulled out into the light. I'm just a story teller not a social scientist I have no idea how you would deal with this problem but I really think it should be studied.  

So that's my thoughts about the issue of the day. Lets turn the tables and talk books or in this case a novella.

This story begins in ancient times. A warrior willingly becomes a monster to defend his valley home. That small civilization dies but he lives on in stone and eventually comes to the modern city of Toronto. He is eventually defeated by the soul you'd least expect to have the strength to best a monster. 

You can find it on my amazon page but I think you need to go to the second or third page its not at the front. Link to my page is below this article. 

I would love to help you reach your potential.

    Got a direct message this morning from a guy that works in public relations. He took a look at my amazon page and the books listed there and contacted me. The root of his message was; he loved the look of my stuff and would love to be a key part in attaining success. I gave him my standard response. Which is nothing but the truth.

    "I live on minimum wage. I can't afford you."

    I've yet to run into anyone who has taken the next step and said; "I hear you. I think we can work something out. You start making money I'll start taking a cut."

    I would meet with someone like that. I have no problems paying for services if I have the money. I just have no money to pay for services.

    This guy is in the same city too. Just because I thought he would think it fun I recommended one of my books that is set very visibly in Toronto.  

    A selection of people come to realize that they are not fully human. They are human alien hybrids. They have been created to help the aliens take over earth. Along with the alien DNA these people have developed many of their alien half's powers and abilities. These powers are mixed with the unique human ability to picture things that are not strictly speaking real and magnified to an epic degree. 

    In the end they are faced with a choice. Are they aliens with human blood or humans with alien blood? In that choice sits the future of the world. 

You can find the link to my amazon page below. 

You might want to check out my You Tube page as well. 

Being honest with yourself sometimes means disappointing others.

    I've reached the age when I know my limitations. You'd think that would be easy but it isn't. You have to have lived a while to know what you can and cannot do. Some people never figure it out and are constantly walking down dead ends to find they disappoint people hugely. At this point in my life I get the disappointing people over with up front and save time.

    That's not to say I don't stretch myself. I do try and I find new things I can do all the time. Funny thing is looked back at its always clear the THING whatever it might be was always a next step in the progression of something I knew I could do. This blog is an example.

    People tend to say to others, you can do this thing you must be able to do this other. The root skills are the same. I have news for those people. The root skills for everything are the same; work hard, practice, lather rinse repeat. 

    Its the specific skills that tell you that you can do a thing. If you try and push maybe you will pick up those specific skills. It does happen. It also takes a long time to happen. You have to start at ground zero. I've seen enough ground zeros in my life I need to be accepted for what I am. 

    I do have a book with a main character that knows his limitations. 

    

    Steven Pendergast has an Olympic gold medal for archery hanging on the wall in his living-room. These days he doesn't compete. He teaches middle school gym and feels secretly that he disappoints a lot of people. Then he hears a fairy singing a drinking song in his backyard in the middle of the night. The first night of summer break. 

You can find it here or click the link at the bottom of the page and visit my entire amazon page. 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07NPC783P/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p2_i9

Twitter

 Ok so I accidentally created a completely new Twitter account. They sent me instructions on how to delete it but let me tell you how hard it is. Its hard. 

Yeah, that's me being understated. I gave up after a short frustrated rant. Funny thing is, I can access my normal TEN YEAR OLD account on my phone and my older computer. I can't on the computer I accidentally created the new account on. 

So, how was everyone's holiday weekend. Cold I bet. Its Easter Sunday as I type this but yesterday I went out to a park to take some pictures and try and get a handle on the camera that comes with my new cell phone. It has a zoom. This counts as exciting. 

Problem being it was nice for a walk but it was also a bit brisk and my fingers got cold enough for me to not be able to work the camera. I love my home and yes I am aware that Toronto is lucky compared to Manitoba who got hit with a dang snow storm this week. 

I did enjoy the trip out mind you. A dog showed me his stick. He was very pleased with it. 

    

This was taken today. I did a whole you tube with this as a part but Blogger said it was to big so I picked this one.  Its how I feel right now. Chilly and waiting for something good to happen.

If you want to see the full video check my you tube channel by clicking the link below.

Stay warm. Eat lots of chocolate eggs. Brush your teeth. 

Remember it will eventually get warmer. 

When you get really tired.

     Anyone and everyone is really tired right now. I'm not talking physically tired. I'm not talking about those in war zones. I'm talking about the rest of us trying to have normal lives after two years and more of not normal lives. We are all tired deep down inside and M&Ms and Netflix isn't helping as much anymore.

    These days you can't comment on a Facebook post without someone calling you out and saying, well these people have it worse. Yup Mr. Sanctimonious I know that but it doesn't make me feel better. Its like telling a person to cheer up. Nowhere in the history of cheering up, has anyone been cheered up, by being told to cheer up. 

    I'm not talking about depression that's another subject which I am demonstrably unqualified to write about. Its something else and I think we need a deal.

1) You have a right to feel like crap. 

2) You don't have an obligation not to feel like crap just because others are far worse off.

3) Other people should just admit that pointing out the above doesn't help and a lot of the time it just substitutes for really listening to the why of another person.  

    Statements about having a right to be down notwithstanding, its not a bad idea to think of things that have made you feel better and do them. Action usually helps me. I know reading helps others. So, lets profile another book. 

    Below is a nice short light read perfect for cloudy, rainy, tired days.

    A man grieving over the loss of his wife and the loss of his job through retirement takes the advice of a caring friend and begins to build a new life. Also there's ghost mice. 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B085TRDC5X/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i1

Find it at this link or of the link isn't working my amazon page. That link is below.

To Be Irish

    In eighteen something or other a blight hit the worlds potato crop. It hit everywhere. The problem with Ireland is the political and social pressures meant that for a painful amount of people potatoes were literally all they had. It was move or die for a lot of people and they did move. The world was introduced to a variety of dynamic world changing minds that brought social justice, unions to protect workers and a lot more besides. 

    I claim a few of those immigrants as my maternal ancestors though I don't know much more than that.  We weren't the sort of family that talked about family tree's or where we came from. I only know that generally a lot of Toronto Irish came from County Cork so that's a possibility.

    I have do have one story. It's that of a woman, a great great grandmother, who went into labor on an English ship. She insisted on being carried to land before giving birth. If she gave birth on the ship legally her child would be English and she wasn't having THAT. 

    Fast forward to this past weekend. St. Patrick's day might have been in the middle of the week but Sunday was when Toronto had the parade.  I'll be making a You Tube of some of what I saw. The link to my you tube is below this text. There was a really big crowd. Its clear the city in general was and probably still is parade deficient.

 

    One of the people there seemed to be warm weather deficient. Let me be clear. It was a nice day maybe 11 or 12 degrees C. That's, I think, upper 40s low 50s F. Someone needs to tell this guy its -dress for the job you want- not - dress for the weather you want-.

    I've actually made use of the Irish wave of immigrants in one of my novellas. 

    Its a ghost story set in a real school located in modern day inner city Toronto.  You can find it on my amazon page.

amazon.com/author/tabithabaumander

    On a side note I will point out most in the crowd still wore masks. I know that the lifting of the mask mandate not withstanding there are still situations when I will mask up. Our over crowded transit system to name but one. Be science smart. Think and if it makes sense mask up. 

Running on Empty

 The world is going to heck in a hand cart and I think most of us are running on empty. Very important point though; that's okay.

Its okay to be worn out from everything that's happened the last couple of years. 

Its okay to wonder if the world has ever been anything but falling apart.

Its even okay to wonder if it was dumb to make fun of those films that taught 50s kids to DUCK AND COVER. 

Now make a cup of tea or grab your caffeine of choice and listen for a minute. 

    I'm not going to stick labels on trauma that's a mine field I'm not qualified to walk through. Unless your reality involves holding out hands to help those running away or on the ground and in the fight its okay to walk away for a bit. See a movie, read, buy some honey because you know a piece of bread and honey late in the day lifts your mood. Or is that last one just me?

    If your reality involves counseling or personally dealing with trauma generations in the making; its okay to take a break from dealing with same and just drift for a bit letting your nervous system get grounded again before the next session of sorting things out. Crap like that does not get fixed all at once.

    Its okay to turn the news off.  This part is very important. Politics and other things that make your left eye twitch will be there tomorrow. 

    Here, think about reading something. There's a hero and a love interest and the action is far away from today's reality. 

There's even other adventures.

amazon.com/author/tabithabaumander 

Whatever you do take a break.

public art

    Its not something that I was that aware of growing up. It certainly wasn't an issue. I'll admit up front that's probably a -white privilege- point of view. That being said its nothing but the truth. When I was a kid that Victorian era statue in the park down town simply registered as a guy on a horse. It was someplace your school trip sat beside so the class could eat their packed lunches before going somewhere else. 

    Time skip and we have protests and riots pulling down statues in the American south. Even in Canada we have protests over statues of politicians that had (unpopular from a modern point of view) views over a great many things that I wont go into here because this isn't that kind of blog.

    Fact is if we take a step away and look at the statues dispassionately as art, most of it just isn't that great. It makes a statement and says THIS PERSON WAS HERE. The people who put the thing up never pictured that others in the future would be saying THIS PERSON WAS ALSO A TWAT. 

    A twat that's boring to look at. Can we have some nice art please. Mind you that's a bit of a mine field on its own. There's a bronze statue in front of Toronto city hall called the Archer. Its by someone named Henry Moor. He was very big in the sixties and seventies. Even back then the thing got a lot of flack from the ordinary man in the street because to be honest it looks less like a archer and more like a couple of pelvic bones trying to fit together at a very odd angle. That being said its interesting and no one is ever going to riot over the thing.

    So here's a suggestion. Teach people in school about the notable persons of the past. That way you can learn their good sides and their not so good sides. Both can be placed in a historical context and understood. Let public squares and spaces in front of government buildings be filled with images of what we want for the future. Or maybe just something interesting to fill the space. 

    

    Mind you I'm not sure this is the best example. Its in front of a condo building down town. To me it looks like a big silver noodle man. The sort that you see in front of car lots with a fan to make them dance around. It is metal and stands four stories tall. It fills the space and its not boring. I guess it will do.

TOKEN BOOK PLUG

If you thought having your teacher bug you to hand in your work on time was annoying, be glad you aren't being pushed to finish by aliens who wont even tell you why they want what they want. Two film students are trying to deal with reality but it feels like someone is playing a game. 

find it at    amazon.com/author/tabithabaumander    

Rome Fell

 This morning I unfriended someone on Facebook. I don't often do that. They were posting the shots from Ukraine of several notable persons including a beauty contest winner all with flack jackets etc and making sneering comments.  Possibly in an effort to be fair and balanced he posted that one of Vlad on the horse with his shirt off but the comment on that seemed slightly less negative somehow. Were they propaganda? Sure, probably. Is Miss Ukraine manning a post shooting at tanks? Who knows. 

Bottom line is it doesn't matter. You don't look down at people using what tools they have while a bully is blowing the shit out of their homeland. 

Lets talk about a book. 

Snap shots is an excellent introduction to the way my mind works. Its a novella sized, collection of very short works; flash fiction and smaller. If you hang out on line long enough you end up writing these for various web sites that post monthly contests. For example; 500 words using a different point of view top three get published. 

Near the end of last year I found I had quite a lot of them so I celebrated the end of a second year of covid by bundling them together. Most are a bit longer than originally written because I went over them and made them a bit more complete but all are still very short. 

Put the Kindle app on your phone and download it. Now that they're starting to lift mask mandates from public transit you're going to want something to hide behind. 

In the mean time someone tell the czar of all the Russias that he can't have the soviet union back. Rome fell and so did the USSR. 

ain't we got fun

 "Every morning, every evening ain't we got fun? 

Not much money oh but honey ain't we got fun?

    Its a song from the first quarter of the twentieth century. I think a guy named Eddy Cantor sang it and the times were pretty dynamic. They just figured out how to put sound on film, records were big and so was radio. Television was a long time and a world war away. 

    It was a depression. A lot of people were homeless. A lot of people were very rich. Unions were tapping companies on the shoulder and saying, "Excuse me can we talk to you about that rich poor thing?" and getting smacked down for their troubles. Frequently that smacking was literal. The Pinkertons didnt make all their money catching bad guys. They also had a bustling side line of demonizing and busting unions. 

    Back to my list; oh yeah; we'd recovered from a plague a little more than a decade before. Someone was declaring that this whole other country in actual fact belonged to his country. Wait a minute. Someone get zombie Churchill a Gravol all that spinning in his grave is making him sea sick. 

    Come to think of it the deja-vu isn't doing me much good either. Lets talk about a book. I crave some escapism.  A lot of my work would be right at home as comics. My not being able to draw tends to eliminate that outlet but I have the stories anyway. 

    This one involved a trio of people living in Toronto who discover that they are a mix of human and alien. This comes out in a growing ability to use a power that comes from their alien side. In the end they decide that they are humans with alien blood not aliens with human blood, confusing the heck out of their spooky baby daddies and outright war happens. 

    They even discover a way to fly. 

    NO CAPES! (you said that in Edna Mode's voice didn't you)

amazon.com/author/tabithabaumander     find it here   

    Remember reading to escape reality isn't rejecting reality its resting between fights. 

Winter Festival

 Some city council in some distant past decided it would be nifty if Toronto had a winter festival in Feb. This is a great idea on the surface of it. Its gray, its cold, its to far from spring, lets just make the best of things. Lets go down town and see the ice sculptures and have a hot chocolate. Great idea; top notch, it even works half the time.

Toronto is a city on the north half of lake Ontario. Because of this we have our own micro climate. This can result in, for example, everywhere around us digging out from a three foot dumping of snow and us getting out the broom to deal with a light dusting.  

February can hand us one of three different climates. Sometimes all in the same week. In general we can get at least a short, one or two day, sometimes week long, melt. It can also have reassuringly normal winter weather, brisk, sunny - nice if you dress for it- winter festival day material. Then there's the February days where the figure the artist is ice sculpting seems to say, "What the heck are you doing out here its freezing!" 

People from Montreal and Ottawa tend to laugh at our relationship to the weather. Talk to a transplanted Montrealer and you will hear in vivid details the depth of the snow drifts they walked through to get to school; in May. Its like talking to your grandparents about walking to school no matter how bad it is out they had/have it worse and coped with it better. 

Mind you Canada does in general have a thing against Toronto.

That's one of the things I played with in this one.  Aliens take Toronto down a peg and several condo buildings go splat. Of course it also has what I think are the most Canadian super hero's yet. They are alien human hybrid's who take control of the powers their alien side give them and defend earth from their army of baby daddies. What could be more Canadian than an interspecies hero flying through the sky on a snow board? 

In the mean time its raining. Which is great until it freezes turning the sidewalks to skating rinks. Tell you what you read this book I'll go write another one. 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07WF64QZ7/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p2_i1

My Saturday

 I went to the movies last Saturday. I picked a theater in the north half of the city so I would avoid the (WE DON'T WANT TO GET A NEEDLE) truck fest down town. Instead of that I ended up with a subway closure and shuttle buses. Not a big deal I thought, I'd allowed a lot of time to get there. Helping things I got a bus almost right away and it wasn't crowded. 

Annoyingly what that bus also was, besides not crowded, was a new home to my back pack. I realized it was not on my back as I was walking into the mall where the theater was located. It was empty with the exception of an old thumb drive. There was a time when I used to stuff  thumb drives in every nook and cranny just in case the worst happened. At least I'd have my work on the drive. Then I discovered the CLOUD. 

I'd brought the bag along in the interests of picking up a few things after the show. It takes a couple of days for lost items to find their way to the lost and found so I'll drop by the place Saturday and see if it turned up. In the mean time I bought a new one. Its much nicer, sturdy and was bought in an independent store.  

At any rate I had a nice Wendy's lunch and saw my movie;  The Kingsman prequel. Its well done with lots of characteristic over the top fight scenes and sets up the rest of the films very nicely. I give it a 4 our of 5 stars. 

I left the mall feeling very good in spite of my lost bag. That good mood slid straight into energetic annoyance. The mall is right across the street from a spot called North York City Center. In the days before Toronto and its surrounding cities were forcibly amalgamated by the province in the interests of saving money ( Spoiler alert it didn't.) this was the city hall for North York. The entire long block was isolated by the police and two big trucks were parked in front of the big public square. 

This meant that not only was I going to have to take a shuttle bus but I would have to walk several blocks to get said bus. I ended up walking down to the nearest subway stop and taking a different bus following a different way home. 

I'm told the big babies are going to hit us up with another display this coming weekend. Someone explain to these twits that a virus is not political and doesn't care about anyone's freedoms. Get the damn shot or kiss profitable runs across our southern border good bye. Even if we eliminated the requirements the US isn't going to drop theirs. They'd just send you home. 

The up side is since Christmas I haven't done much on my You Tube and I was able to make this. 

Stay warm. I read a thing the other day that said its only something like seven more Saturdays till spring. I am very very ready for that. 

FEB

 I think the fact that the longest night of the year is in December completely ignores the headache that is the grayest month of the year, February.  December has a whole slate of holidays. January has that dramatic "I'm the first real month of winter fear me," vibe. February is like Wednesday. Wednesday is to far away from one weekend and not near enough to the next one. February is to far away from fall and way to far away from spring. 

And its going to snow soon. Again.

Let's talk about a book. I recently got a review of a book that I really liked. It was basically; this is a great read, fun escapism that doesn't get to technical and doesn't take itself to seriously. 

I can really get behind that sort of review particularly in this gray time of the year. No one wants to think and in no one needs to much drama. There's way to much of that connected to real life these days.  In my younger days I read everything UFO I could get my hands on. I wasn't a big fan of reality back then either. Reality has never shown me much respect why should I respect reality? That reading translated in my mind into this story. 

A second generation UFO authority rethinks her life and decides to slowly transition from UFO writing to simple fiction writing. As if in protest, things begin to happen around her. People want explanations and they aren't really ready to listen to the truth. When it comes to UFOs and the paranormal most of the time there are no explanations. 

If you're interested you can find the book on my amazon page

amazon.com/author/tabithabaumander 

Oh look, my bad, its not snowing. It's raining. 

On Writing

 I follow and connect with a lot of writers on Twitter. When that sort of thing works properly it can be a really positive experience. It can help younger or new writers to avoid pitfalls and it gives those of us with more of a track record the satisfaction of being a help. 

More than a few of the ones that need help went to school to LEARN WRITING. I'm not against arts writing programs. Not at all. They do have one problem. By their very nature of being in school and needing to create a visible syllabus they preach frameworks and methods.  Some students thrive with these building blocks. Some spend years following the rules and preparing to write, only to find they haven't written word one of the actual (book, film, you name it). 

It never hurts to be on a platform that has someone tell you, "Just tell a good story and fix it in rewrites."

The very first book I ever wrote was also the book I have rewritten the most. The first draft was written roughly thirty years ago. I polished it to the best of my -then- ability and sent it out. While waiting for results I started something else. Number one was quite rightly rejected soundly. Time passed and I realized I had jumped in ability. Not wanting to let sleeping manuscripts die I went back and rewrote book one.   

Years passed and I kept writing submitting and getting better and more completely rejected by publishers. I continued to rewrite the earlier books as I improved. In the process, turning the first one into the first book in what is now a four book series. 

When I got the comment, "I love your stuff but I don't know  how to sell you." From a New York Agent I began to realize that the established publishing world was not going to make a place for me. I was going to have to make my own place, both on my own and with one or more small presses. Brave talk for a writer who spells so badly that even the best spell check sometimes rolls over and says "I dunno man I got nuthin."

 

Check out book one. The first draft was written while my kids were watching Sesame Street. 

amazon.com/author/tabithabaumander 

Snow day

 Its sunny today but yesterday was a snow day in more ways than one. My son, who's been riding his bike to work to avoid getting on a bus along with a lot of other people most of whom still don't know how to wear a mask properly, even had to leave his bike at home. He did so again today. It made me glad for once that I work from home. You can handle isolation when you're avoiding an hour wait for a bus you can fit onto, in a snow storm, in a pandemic. 

My work day consisted of sitting where I am sitting now and watching the snow fall while talking to total strangers. Same Stuff Different Day. Mind you being stuck at home even more than I have been has cut into my filming for my You Tube, not to mention having to scramble for ideas to write about here. 

To heck with the weather lets talk about books. I once had someone read through a bunch of my short stories describe my writing style as this; 

"You start walking along a path in a park and its nice and interesting and then you unwittingly step off the path and instead of just standing on the grass next to the path you are someplace completely different."

I think in general that can be said for a lot of what I write. I don't write a lot of short stories. Most of  them end up being short enough to be called Flash Fiction and that's a different book. For the record stress in the last couple of years has got in the way of my being able to do a deep enough dive into a plot to do proper full length novels. I have therefor been producing a lot of novellas.  My anthology THE FOURTH WALL has a good selection of both.

It was originally published by a small press that dropped me six weeks later (poor sales and the press was refocusing regarding what they were going to handle) costing me a kick ass cover and disconnecting me from one hell of a review that Amazon says cannot be moved from that cover to this one. 

Try it out;

 https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07F5GPZ1N/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p3_i7

Its winter and the weather is crap. Make tea and have a read. 

True Out

 January and the doldrums have arrived. Makes me miss the first lockdown when I was living on the Covid money and didn't have the proper equipment to telecommute so I spent several months writing and crocheting. And napping. I am feeling a great nostalgic draw toward the concept of napping. That being said I have a shift in an hour so lets talk about a book.

The idea for True Out came from a screen writing class. It was one of those one day events that are supposed to draw you in and take the longer and more expensive class. I didn't primarily because I cant afford that sort of thing. To arrive at the place w here they were teaching the class you went in one door of a converted factory and followed a long strange hallway till you finally found the right door. 

This gave me the idea for my underground world in True Out. In case your interested I wrote the screenplay then the novel. My hero Mic escapes from this underground world to find a very different and to him unbelievably rich surface world.  He has to learn a completely new language not to mention get menially used to the concept of space and a sky but he does and in time makes a life. 

Then he looks up and the blue sky with fluffy white clouds vanishes for a moment and he sees a slate grey metal roof. Its only a flash but its real and in a world that has nothing like air travel he has no way of getting to that roof and the True Out.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07PRMT3GG/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p2_i10 

you can find it at the link above or go to my amazon page 

amazon.com/author/tabithabaumander 

You can't nap at work but you can read on your break.

make a start

 As I write this I am two hours away from the start of my first shift of 2022. Typically after not writing anything new in weeks I wrote the first chapter of a possible new book on the weekend. I am therefore resenting the robbing away of the next eight hours. On the flip side of that; money is good. What's also good is the discipline of having to get up, turn on the work computer and push my brain into some kind of extra level of activity. 

The fact is, most writers, even writers published by conventional publishers, have day jobs.  More of them do now that ever before because book stores have changed the way they put books on shelves and for instance only have the first book of a given series or perhaps only one or two books from a given author. Any interested customers would have to order the rest. Sure some readers do but not in the same amounts. I've heard tales of authors who haven't had to think about a day job in years, having to get out the want ads because the sales just aren't there anymore.

Its been quite a few days since I last posted anything. Nothing exciting has happened. Well, when you get right down to it nothings happened.  Its winter. Its cold out. There's a plague and they brought back the extra measures to try and stem this next wave. I kind of resent that because it got in the way of meeting friends for a new years movie afternoon. We did a Christmas movie. It was great. 

The fact is this bug is adapting to the human condition and in time will just be a dangerous flu you need to get a shot for every year. I can live with that I get an ordinary flu shot anyway.  Viruses are living things and it makes no evolutionary sense for a virus to kill its host. 

In the mean time its January, its cold and spring is a long way off. I'm going to leave you now and get ready to answer phones. I'll also day dream about ghosts haunting buildings that used to be owned by bootleggers.

When life gets to you remember this guy. He think its crap as well so at least you've got company.